December 27th, 2019
Let’s imagine for a moment that what you were feeling in your body some days was tied to repressed sexual energy. Think about the last time you had a physical workout that didn’t involve going to the gym and sweating but was instead found between the contact of your mouth and a succulent table fruit, your sexual organs and a pocket tool, or even better, on the end of your arm? I’m talking about orgasms.
For decades, the medical and mental health industry has been discussing mental health with redundancy. I believe we could do a lot more with this discussion if we were less concerned with the taboos of talking about sex outside the bedroom or in a MD’s office, and start talking about it on our therapist’s couch (and within lots of other settings, too). Doctors have been asking patients about their sex lives for years and not because they are interested in your orgasm, but because they understand on a scientific level that good mental health in the context of healthy physical touch can also alleviate some symptoms of anxiety and depression. How then has it continued to be scarce conversation?
Consider the pros to having a healthy and regular physical release:
1. You don’t have to leave the confines of your home to experience it.
2. You can enjoy it with someone or on your own-that eliminates scouting, dating, asking, pleading or paying for it!
3. It helps you to sleep better-and who doesn’t need better sleep?!
4. If you’re having sex and you get to “cum” before you go (to sleep, home, or work) you’re not only burning a few hundred calories, but you feel lighter and thereby release the unhealthy stress that you’ve been carrying in your body. And we all know that stress kills!
Part of what I’ve experienced in my work as a healer is the perpetuation of stigma associated with talking about sexuality. A lot of adults I’ve worked with and personally know were not taught that self- pleasuring is a part of sacred healing and self- discovery. Consequently, they were shamed about their bodies and made to feel afraid of naturally occurring sensations. Can you visualize yourself as a child sitting in moist underpants because something you saw or heard aroused you and you didn’t know if it was okay to talk about it? That is how some grown ups experienced their first encounters with sexuality. Now, in our sunrise years we’re wondering how to make sense of that and so many other things without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. Let’s start talking to the adolescent inside each of us who needs reckoning with. Then, share that internal conversation with another person (someone you trust first). And finally, when you hear yourself being critical again or judged by other people, re-center yourself and speak wisdom over the harsh beliefs that you’ve been programmed into accepting. What wise words would you tell your younger self today about being free? What affirmation would you begin reciting about how brave and fearless you are?
Try this one: I am overcoming patterns that no longer serve me in every way, every day!
*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*