Healing people through trauma was never the dream job I saw myself attaining when I was in my youth. Hell, I didn’t know the word “trauma” existed decades ago, so I surely didn’t comprehend what trauma would do to my life and my career as I got older. Still, as I’ve survived various kinds of traumas and become resilient because of it, I turned what could’ve been tragic moments into teachable lessons. I’ve become emboldened by my wounds in a way that has taught me how to listen innately to myself and my inner girl child. While once upon a time being very critical of my wounded relatives was all I knew how to do, now through self-development and self-healing I’ve gone from being angry with them to empathizing with them, or at least some of them. Hey! The goal here is progress, not perfection.
Today I thank some of my ancestors—including the ones who are just a generation older than me for staying alive so that I could see what trauma does to hurt people, and to people who hurt other people, that way I can dismantle it and become a new cell in the link to recovering from some of that intergenerational burden that gets passed down.
Just to be clear, I don’t condone abuse from any person just because they haven’t had the opportunities that I’ve had to spend time in therapy, or higher education, or with themselves in silence, but I now understand what I’m looking at when I look at someone who behaves inappropriately. Simultaneously, I am also grateful that they were there to give me what they could give me, and what they couldn’t I learned how to give to myself. I owe it to myself nowadays to live fully present and aware and with more peace so that I don’t hold onto and recreate a pattern of thinking that I should live in perpetual pain. Being in constant pain isn’t a birthright nor a consequence I have accepted as a byproduct of my heritage. Have you? When was the last time you saw someone in pain and didn’t know that that is was unresolved trauma looks like? Have you started with looking at yourself, first?
This week take 5-10 minutes alone in your day to check in with your thoughts, feelings, recent or previous experiences. Write down in your journal the sounds, sensations or images that come up for you. If you’re able to talk about it with a trusted individual, do so afterwards. It doesn’t have to be coherent or packaged in any specific way. But allow yourself to begin hearing yourself speak about something that may have been quietly sitting inside of you that could heal a memory or an experience that you have miraculously lived through. If anything occurs that feels more unpleasant than you can handle, please reach out for support immediately.
*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*