Is Social Media Using You?

When I began using the phrase “take care of your mentals” it was in response to the numerous people on social media sharing and posting their personal experiences with social, emotional and relationship issues. It was also in response to the therapy and coaching work that people were beginning to explore and discuss online.

In recent years, social media has become the go-to source for news, views, opinions, and storytelling. Whereas, Facebook began as a way to connect people, over time, it became a place for people to talk about what’s on their minds and give their conspiracy theories on #BLM (Black Lives Matter), among other topics.

Asha Tarry
Asha Tarry, Life Coach

As I’ve been more interested in what goes on via Instagram, and again as of recent, Twitter, I see a lot of times how we use these platforms to become famous, or to shed light on injustice, as well as to perform acts of character assassination. But, what do you think people are really looking for when they come online—is it connection, or attention, or a place to spew animosity or create alienation from others? Maybe it’s all of those things.  Here are a few areas of our social-emotional health that may have become more compromised throughout the years, partly due to our overuse of social media:

      1. Like work is to many people, a place to gather and meet friends, social media has become a place where people may never deeply connect with people, but instead build pseudo-deep relationships with people they only know through online following


      2. In real life, people are much more awkward and have become afraid to be okay with their awkwardness. Social media allows people to create an image and a persona of confidence and “having it all together” which has formulated misperceptions about the true nature of a lot of human beings.


      3. Not all social media engagement is bad, but when we lean on it for validation from others or confirmation of our beliefs, than we may risk making the mistake of not trusting ourselves enough to live the lives we really have the capacity to live.


      4. If social media allows people to operate in ways that can develop professional goals or personal achievements, as it has done for many people, then keep going. But, if it makes you feel inadequate, overwhelmed or ashamed then it’s probably the people you’re following that need to change and not you.

As social media, like so many things in life, is a tool it has so many ways to be used. Some tools only have one way it can be used. But, social media is like a screw with various heads. We just need to remember that the discipline it takes to use it for all the things it’s worth comes from us. How we want to live—be it fruitfully or in comparison to others—may be something to evaluate from time to time. How are you liking social media these days?

*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*

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