For many years before the pandemic of 2020, professional adults have sought therapy. Millennials—those born between 1980-2000—have set the path of self-development on fire with their openness to learning and growing beyond the daily, somewhat normal uncertainties of adulthood. However, during the pandemic, mental health clinicians and hospitals experienced something they’d never experienced quite like this—an incredible wave of newcomers with heightened anxiety, depression and trauma all at the same time. Quite honestly, it overwhelmed nearly everyone. But, before we start to create headlines for all the reasons why we weren’t prepared for this I implore you to look at therapy in a less crisis-oriented way and consider a few ideas for this new era of somewhat post-COVID awakening should you decide you want to give a hand at psychotherapy:

What to Look for When Seeking a Therapist

1. 1. Does this person hold a license, or a certificate under supervision to provide professional counseling, analysis, psychotherapy or some other type of healing modality (e.g. ministry or hypnosis)?
      
      
   2. Does this person continually train or seek professional development in their specific specialty especially if you are dealing with an area of your health that requires specialized care such as an eating condition, PTSD, or a history of self-harm or suicide attempts?
      
      
   3. Has this person worked with any other intersections that may be important to you such as Muslim and queer, Black and same-gender-loving or MSM (man who sleeps with men) or 1st generation and English as a 2nd language, or Latinx and a Jehovah’s Witness?
      
      
   4. Is this provider capable of taking on new patients based on their current clientele and hours of availability?
      
      
   5. Do they offer early morning, late evening, or weekend hours if you have scheduling limitations?
      
      
   6. Does the therapist accept insurance, or are they out of network, only accepts cash or credit card payments and how do they expect to be paid and when?
      
      
   7. Does the therapist offer a hybrid of treatment settings such as in-person or hybrid, or what is also important for you and your life at this time?
      
      
   8. Does the provider allow texts from you when they are out of the office, and for what reasons?
      
      
   9. How does the therapist handle work emergencies especially as it’s pertaining to your scheduled appointment—what’s their cancellation policy and are there any exceptions?

That may seem like a lot to inquire, but you don’t have to ask all of these questions at once. You may want to select a couple that you can search the answers to by way of their profile from provider directions or their website. You can save a couple for the consultation and thereafter. If you think it’ll help ground you in finding the right provider at first to meet your needs, make a list of what’s most important for you to know.

These are different times we’re living in, and my guess is that most people are still figuring out what will work best for them, including therapists so be curious, do your research and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Remember, this is the person you will be sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with as you also begin to learn a lot about yourself and the way they work with you. You don’t have to be in crisis either to start therapy. This may be the time to work through some of your professional plans, or relationship loneliness, or family or work transitions.

If we can learn anything from these past 16 months, hopefully it’s how we want to design and experience a life well lived.

Until next time Village, drop a note, send me an update on how you’re doing and of course, tell a friend to tell 5 friends to subscribe to the blog. This month is especially important. It’s Mental Health Awareness Month for POC (aka Minority Mental Health Awareness Month) so there’ll be lots of tips on how to create healthy mental and emotional habits, routines, relationships and rituals.

Asha…

 

*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*

A few weeks ago, I began asking people an important question; a question that could have some folks looking at themselves in inquisitive new ways. It begins by mindfully watching yourself as you engage with other people. In doing so, you may become aware of how you perceive things happening through you. Maybe you’ve always noticed that you perceive things differently than other people. Possibly, you feel things on a level that’s hard to explain. Maybe, you need time to yourself to recover from the moods and feelings of other people after you’ve engaged with them for a while.

If you are a highly sensitive person, you may understand this concept quite well. It’s the way that you feel emotions on a deep and intense level.

Are you someone who can listen, communicate, and empathize with people’s pain, angst, happiness, and mixed moods differently from other people you know? Do you find it both enjoyable, but also exhausting to have too much going on in your life at once? Have you been told that you take things personally, but you know it’s more than that? (although at one point, you may have believed that that’s what it is, too.) Well, you might be an HSP- a highly sensitive person. You could have been born this way, or maybe your environment created these automatic responses in you to embody strong feelings, sensations, sounds and other sensory perceptions. If you want to understand this a little more, start by investigating what goes on inside of you when you’re taking in information on your own, and with others.

Let me first begin by inviting you to consider some of the questions you can ask yourself:

1. 1. 1. Do you enjoy being around people, but feel heightened feelings, or even a bit tired after prolonged time with them?
         
         
      2. Do you imagine going places or doing things you love, and brings good feelings, but you feel charged or depleted during or after an outing?
         
         
      3. Have you ever had to take hiatuses from socializing, and you’re not able to explain why that is?
         
         
      4. Do you have an acute awareness of sounds, scents, tastes, or touch?
         
         
      5. Are you very sensitive to pain?
         
         
      6. Can you sense the emotions of others easier than most people?
         
         Take the HSP self-test–Self-Tests – The Highly Sensitive Person. It’s not an exact science, but it may pique your curiosity to see where you notice responses to things in your environment. Now, let’s consider some action steps you may want to take to preserve your mental and emotional energy.
         
         

Questions to Begin Asking Yourself as You Prepare to Shift

I. What does it take for me to be around people for extended periods of time? (e.g., to talk more than usual, to listen to more than one person at a time, to engage in multiple conversations throughout the day?)

II. How can I mentally gauge when I’m giving too much of myself away before being around other people? (e.g., do I need to do things quietly, or at a slower pace before I see/talk to people? Do I need to do a body scan every 30-60 minutes? Do I need to get up and walk around after conversing with someone for more time than I expect or have the energy to do?)

III. How will I talk to myself afterwards, especially if I feel overwhelmed by my feelings? Again, do not blame yourself for how you feel once you start to notice. Instead, become curious about yourself in new ways. Take time to plan for how much time feels just right for you to spend with friends and family. Pay attention to your body. Respect how you feel. Hopefully, you will begin a practice of aligning with the pace your body and mind needs to remain attentive to your needs. It takes time to treat yourself differently, but it could be worth it in the long run.May you continue healing through your journey towards self-discovery, my wonderfully made HSPs!

As always, after you’ve tried this a few times send me a note and let me know what you’ve learned about yourself. Then, tell 5 people you know to tell 5 people they know to follow us here. It’s always a joy connecting with your developing minds!

Until next time Village,

Asha

*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*