As I approached this blog series on “bossing up” as a focus for Mental Health Awareness Month I did so specifically with my wellness entrepreneurs and business owners in mind. That’s not to say that I didn’t think about the other valuable people here in the village that do not fit that category. Because honestly speaking (or writing, actually, lol) I believe that a lot of people can learn a tremendous amount of life lessons from watching how successful people with power and influence live their lives. I think the rest of the world at times, is slowly catching on, but how many people stay on is really what I want to know.
I told you a few weeks ago that we would talk about being a boss, being nice and having friends.
One evening, I hosted a small and intimate chat on Zoom with a group of wellness colleagues that I wanted to network with more than just a like or a post on Instagram, and also for whom I wanted other colleagues to meet and network. These women are phenomenal, passionate, inspiring, fun, spirited women, with a lot to say, as well as a lot to offer. And as I sat there, indulging in their awe and wonder, I thought about what I’ve learned from people paying it forward to me throughout my life’s journey, and part of what I’ve recalled is how many amazing women poured into my career and development over my years of growing into the woman I am today. That reflection landed me here, to asking you how are you paying it forward towards yourself, lately? Do you talk to yourself the way you talk to your most beloved friend? Do you give yourself time to sit and hear what’s going on inside of you the way you do with a trusted confidante? Are you investing your money, energy, attention and time into your friends, your family, and your lover’s endeavors but spending few hours thinking about how to do the same for yourself? So many times, I hear people grieve their companionship with others. And some of what they’re longing for I believe, is to be seen and witnessed the way they see and witness other people. They are looking for reciprocity. Well, do you know who sets the standard on that relationship? You guessed it– you do! If you don’t create boundaries for yourself the way you do for other people, how do you know if you’re actually as good of a friend to your friends as you think you are? We are what we mirror, but the first reflection we see after we veer away from our parents’ gaze is the one we see within ourselves. So, from hence forth, I encourage you to create a list of valuable principals for which you commit to live by. Start slow, and small. Sometimes, making lists too large can overwhelm one’s mind and the next thing you know you’ve sabotaged yourself. Post the list high, someplace you’ll see it every day. Sound familiar? It’s just like your goals—hold them in high regard, beginning with where you place them. Each day, stand before your list and recite your commitment to becoming a better friend to you. Maybe you’ll begin to hear yourself saying things such as, “I give myself permission to live life abundantly.” Or “I commit to nurturing my dreams in ways that fulfill me each and every day.” Or, maybe you may start saying, “I love me so much that I will only do the things that I care most about, and I will do those things with love.” Once you have those notes written, posted and have begun reciting them time and time again, share with me how it makes you feel. Then, go back to your journal and write about your experience with your shifts in mood and behavior. Remember, repetition is the key to learning new pathways.
I am eager to discover what more awaits this beautiful, sprit-filled journey I’m on, too.
Until next time Village,
Asha…
*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*