Are You Living with Regrets or Realization?

In my previous blog I discussed how many things I realized I’d done in the past 15-20 adult years of my life, and what lessons I’ve learned from them. Some of that included shopping. I gotta tell you, when I think about it now, I could’ve had so many sidewalk sales—something I did once upon a time. I could’ve taken that money and placed it into an investment account that could’ve grown maybe 10 times over by now. But, I don’t want to say I regret anything because I usually live life not regretting much of anything I do. I look at everything as a lesson learned or a lesson yet to be learned. And honestly, when I think about shopping in Paris last year, one of the best memories of that trip included the vintage stores I discovered and the very few yet intentional items I purchased. My thought at the time was—“don’t buy just anything, buy what you will fall in like (I try to veer away from saying things like “I love” about items) with each time you see and wear it.” So, that’s what I did. I purchased 2 beautiful, pleated skirts—1 white, and the other a multiple-colored one. I also purchased this adorable black leather pageboy cap with ear flaps that I accidentally and sadly left behind in the taxi from my hostel in Morocco to the airport But, I’ll tell you this—I had the pleasure of wearing it on several occasions while in Paris—so I guess it wasn’t all for naught.

Asha Tarry, Life Coach

You may be wondering by now, what’s the point, Asha? Well, it’s really quite this: “what if what you experienced from your past, taught you to live differently in your present. Do you think it would teach you a valuable lesson about who you are right now?” As I said, I don’t live life with many regrets, I instead look for the lesson. So, here’s my short list of life lessons that have made everything in life worth it for me. Maybe, you can create your own life lessons list and share it with me.

      1. What if I never moved from my very 1st apartment in NYC, would I have become a homeowner sooner?

      2. What if I worked less than I did when I first started as a mental health professional, would I have had all these amazing career opportunities I have now to coach people from the UK to Africa and be a corporate wellness group facilitator?

      3. What if I had prioritized exercising even by way of sticking with 1 of my hobbies such as semi-professional dancing, would it have been easier to stay in the kind of shape I eagerly look forward to returning to?

      4. What if had applied to a less expensive private graduate school and instead opted for the city universities in New York, would I still have become a private practitioner or a small business owner?

      5. What if I learned about investments sooner, would I have been close to a millionaire by now?

As I ponder these questions, a lot of my reflections are also based in the wonderful experiences I’ve had. I am currently embodying a space that is full of gratitude, intention and wonder. I have my health. I have full range and access to my 6 senses. I have relationships specifically with people I want to have relationships with. I have a beautiful home in a neighborhood I enjoy living. I own an incredible small business which is helping to transform people’s lives in so many awesome ways. I have gorgeous art in my home. I have clean water, food, clothing, and fresh air to breathe—valuable things I don’t want to ever stop being grateful for especially in these tumultuous times. And now, when I shop, as a rarity by the way, it makes me feel that thrill I used to feel when I would go into a store and find everything I wanted to wear and feel good in, except this time I ask myself, “is this an investment, a luxury, or a necessity?” Sometimes I check off 1 box at a time. Sometimes, I check off all. No matter what, I’m doing what I can and want to do, with intention and ease.

If you could do anything you wanted to do and do it with ease, what would you do? My hope is that you really spend time with this question and begin to unfold the life you imagine yourself living.

Would it be to ask for that raise you know you deserve? Would it be to advocate for your health like never before? Would it be to have that talk with a friend you’ve been avoiding? Or would it be that you would quit doing something you’ve been doing because you know it no longer meets your expectations? What would you do, and would it bring ease into your life? I look forward to seeing your list soon. Now, let’s get to living, intentionally.

Until next time…


*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*

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