Today is my day, not just a day, but MY day! I claimed it as such because it puts more intention into how I will treat myself, my life and those around me who matter most. My intention includes how I focus my time, energy and center my most important activities and tribespeople.

If you could embark upon your life every day as if you had full agency over it how would you start and end your day? What would you wear? Eat? Do in between your work breaks? What would you take off your plate? I ask these questions because I believe there is no better time like the present time, right now, to center the life you want to live.

Just as I began writing this blog I came across a quote on Instagram that cemented this blog for me, and it said: “everything starts with me. I have the power to change today. I take responsibility for my life. Great blessings are headed my way.” Do you believe that? Possibly you do. But, if you don’t that is fine, for now. Someday you may begin to see this in action.

As my work as a group facilitator has broken up—into several wonderful bitesize nuggets—I have begun to manifest these words that I will share with you, first, and then sprinkle over my entrepreneur community later and that is—we deserve everything we believe we should have. I’ll write that again—we deserve everything we believe we should have. If I didn’t believe that my company would be coming upon its 7th anniversary in a few weeks I wouldn’t be making 4 figures per contract that comes my way. I wouldn’t have attracted multiple business opportunities to supplement my income during the only pandemic I’ve every lived in. Money wouldn’t be flowing to me the way that it is this year. And again, while living in a pandemic! So, I say all of that to say that just like you, when I began taking charge of my life, claiming what I wanted, believing I could have it (which again, I talk about in my book, Adulting As A Millennial: A Guide to Everything Your Parents Didn’t Teach You) my life drastically changed. And it continues to change, in a whole lot of great ways. I used to be afraid of change. But, that fear has dissipated. Now, I embrace change and I meet it with curiosity. I say to myself, “Hey there change, I knew you’d be back. What are we getting into next?” We have to treat the changing world we live in with just that—curiosity and intrigue, not fear. Remember, you have everything you need. And that which you want, well, that’s where the road meets between what you believe you deserve and what you do about faithfully expecting what you know you can have.

I hope this little bit of self-empowerment dust made you smile today. I hope you embody your power today and claim what you want. And as always, if what you want is still not clear to you, “write. it. down.” Practicing at least 1 habit such as writing your goals and dreams down puts you closer to what you want to manifest. So, get to writing!

Until next time Village,

Asha…

*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*

Black fatigue and rest; seems oxymoronic to most Black Americans doesn’t it? Some people may say it’s because of the “black tax” on African-Americans, Caribbean and Afro-Latinx people who show up every day at work, school, within their families and for their friends while working among people who talk about race relations in insensitive ways; or feel compelled to bear the burden of “speaking for everyone Black” when something happens in the media that highlights the inequities of Black life; or the countless times we hold our breath while Black people work in non-diverse places that posit talk about DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion), but don’t actually have a DEI narrative, commitment to seeking, interviewing or hiring practice for the innumerable qualified Blacks for upper management positions. There’s little relief from the mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion that comes with living while Black. And if anyone is interested– white, Black or someone of a different race– in empathizing or ensuring that non-racist thinking becomes anti-racist practices take a moment to read the list of things that cause the persistent lethargy experienced by Black people who are living and still thriving at times while Black, and at the same time sometimes disinterested in the things that the world believes we should focus on. After you read this list read it again, and then again. Then, tell someone like you and tell several people unlike you (in race, ethnicity, and status) to read this list slowly and imagine life like this every day if you can. Afterwards, read Layla F. Saad’s “Me and White Supremacy” for active and conscious ways to unpack and dismantle systemic cultural, historical, interpersonal, and persistent institutional racism.

5 Reasons Black People Are Persistently Exhausted:

1. 1. 1. Overworking during a pandemic, and then having to make tough decisions between practicing safety precautions while also grieving the loss of normalcy, income, health and loved ones, and still having to keep going– going to work, school, or both, while also taking care of others—mentally, financially, emotionally, and physically.
         
         
      2. Living in a racist, hostile, misogynist world pre-pandemic, and during a pandemic while simultaneously experiencing persistent secondary trauma also known as vicarious trauma (2nd-hand trauma through indirectly witnessing or experiencing a traumatic experience).
         
         
      3. Being one of the most consistently under-employed and unemployed groups of people with lower rates of re-employment than any other group before and during a world financial crisis.
         
         
      4. Working, living, playing, and engaging in dominant communities in which Black people are policed and threatened to have the police called on us for consistently being in “the wrong place” such as parks, college lounges, parking lots, gated communities, airports, airplanes and high end and low-end stores shopping.
         
         
      5. Maintaining employment while Black and then returning each day to work while experiencing harassment, being followed, tased, and murdered in public and private spaces, exposed to political coups, experiencing natural devastation, induced with what some folks may call propaganda for immunizations, and then return to work, and have our exhaustion questioned, mystified, unacknowledged and ignored.

This is a minimal list. But it’s a glimpse into some of the social-emotional challenges that a black tax cost Blacks, globally. The short-term reprieves such as a vacation or sabbatical provide temporary relief. We need lasting solutions and work/life schedules that will break the cycle of burnout, including structural metamorphosis of the many places and entities that are considered foundational to American life.

I have one request of you my Village, whether you are Black, Brown or white and that is this—after you read this blog ask your Black friends, family, and colleagues how they’re feeling lately and be patient, considerate and compassionate enough to listen or wait until they can come to their own understanding of it. Then, return with an authentic interest in what ways you can support them to receive some relief, even if it’s just momentarily. It may be that you give them space on days when they don’t feel like talking. Or maybe you confront instead of avoid asking them if there’s anything you can offer them on a day following another public lynching. Read books on the black tax, the intersections of blackness, women’s history, racism, economics, health and life for Black people in the United States and around the world. Here’s a book I’ve recently fallen in like with that I highly recommend for you to read—“Black Fatigue: How Racism Erodes the Mind, Body and Spirit” by Mary-Frances Winters.

Until next time Village,

Asha…

1. 1.  

*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*