In my previous blog I discussed how many things I realized I’d done in the past 15-20 adult years of my life, and what lessons I’ve learned from them. Some of that included shopping. I gotta tell you, when I think about it now, I could’ve had so many sidewalk sales—something I did once upon a time. I could’ve taken that money and placed it into an investment account that could’ve grown maybe 10 times over by now. But, I don’t want to say I regret anything because I usually live life not regretting much of anything I do. I look at everything as a lesson learned or a lesson yet to be learned. And honestly, when I think about shopping in Paris last year, one of the best memories of that trip included the vintage stores I discovered and the very few yet intentional items I purchased. My thought at the time was—“don’t buy just anything, buy what you will fall in like (I try to veer away from saying things like “I love” about items) with each time you see and wear it.” So, that’s what I did. I purchased 2 beautiful, pleated skirts—1 white, and the other a multiple-colored one. I also purchased this adorable black leather pageboy cap with ear flaps that I accidentally and sadly left behind in the taxi from my hostel in Morocco to the airport But, I’ll tell you this—I had the pleasure of wearing it on several occasions while in Paris—so I guess it wasn’t all for naught.

You may be wondering by now, what’s the point, Asha? Well, it’s really quite this: “what if what you experienced from your past, taught you to live differently in your present. Do you think it would teach you a valuable lesson about who you are right now?” As I said, I don’t live life with many regrets, I instead look for the lesson. So, here’s my short list of life lessons that have made everything in life worth it for me. Maybe, you can create your own life lessons list and share it with me.

1. 1. 1. What if I never moved from my very 1st apartment in NYC, would I have become a homeowner sooner?
         
         
      2. What if I worked less than I did when I first started as a mental health professional, would I have had all these amazing career opportunities I have now to coach people from the UK to Africa and be a corporate wellness group facilitator?
         
         
      3. What if I had prioritized exercising even by way of sticking with 1 of my hobbies such as semi-professional dancing, would it have been easier to stay in the kind of shape I eagerly look forward to returning to?
         
         
      4. What if had applied to a less expensive private graduate school and instead opted for the city universities in New York, would I still have become a private practitioner or a small business owner?
         
         
      5. What if I learned about investments sooner, would I have been close to a millionaire by now?

As I ponder these questions, a lot of my reflections are also based in the wonderful experiences I’ve had. I am currently embodying a space that is full of gratitude, intention and wonder. I have my health. I have full range and access to my 6 senses. I have relationships specifically with people I want to have relationships with. I have a beautiful home in a neighborhood I enjoy living. I own an incredible small business which is helping to transform people’s lives in so many awesome ways. I have gorgeous art in my home. I have clean water, food, clothing, and fresh air to breathe—valuable things I don’t want to ever stop being grateful for especially in these tumultuous times. And now, when I shop, as a rarity by the way, it makes me feel that thrill I used to feel when I would go into a store and find everything I wanted to wear and feel good in, except this time I ask myself, “is this an investment, a luxury, or a necessity?” Sometimes I check off 1 box at a time. Sometimes, I check off all. No matter what, I’m doing what I can and want to do, with intention and ease.

If you could do anything you wanted to do and do it with ease, what would you do? My hope is that you really spend time with this question and begin to unfold the life you imagine yourself living.

Would it be to ask for that raise you know you deserve? Would it be to advocate for your health like never before? Would it be to have that talk with a friend you’ve been avoiding? Or would it be that you would quit doing something you’ve been doing because you know it no longer meets your expectations? What would you do, and would it bring ease into your life? I look forward to seeing your list soon. Now, let’s get to living, intentionally.

Until next time…

Asha

*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*

I’m adult. I know it. You know it. And yet, there are so many times when I wonder how I got here with my head held high. When I look back over the past 15-20 years, it amazes me how much I’ve done; how much I’ve worked more than anything else, but how full it’s been.

Here’s what I’ve assessed so far—I’ve worked a lot. I’ve worked at several outpatient behavioral health nonprofits and corporations. I’ve worked full time, part time, I’ve consulted, and I’ve started my own business, twice. This past weekend, I celebrated 7 years of CEO’ing (yeah, that’s a word—I just made it up, LOL!) at Behavioral Health Consulting Services, LMSW, PLLC. Seven years ago, I had NO idea where I would be with this company, but wow, what a ride! But, I digress. I’ll get back to being in awe of what my team and I have done in 7 years, momentarily.

So, where was I? Oh yes, I’ve adulted a lot over the years. I’ve traveled. I’ve traveled throughout the US, a little. Seeing much more of the US is definitely on my life list (I don’t use bucket list—I mean, why does that even exist?). I’ve traveled to the northernmost and southern parts of Africa. I’ve traveled to Central America, but only to Costa Rica. I don’t mean to minimize that because CR is a beautiful country to see. I just miss not being able to travel right now. But, when I do, to the pink beaches of Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Venezuela and of course, Colombia I go!

I danced a lot, though I wish I danced more back in the day because the places I used to go dancing are either closed or they’ve transformed into a club of a different name, about 5 times over by now. I’ve decided that I’ll be dancing on my vacation in a few days, how about that? Will you dance along with me—in your own virtual living room, of course?!

I’ve eaten a lot. I look forward to when I’m comfortable going out in New York so I can explore a few more ethnic restaurants in the LES (lower east side) and Harlem, which abounds with a variety of French/African restaurants.

I’ve shopped. Man, have I shopped! It astonishes me at times how many clothes, shoes, handbags, and jewelry I’ve bought over the years. How? I was a social worker for most of my career before I was a life coach and therapist. How did I afford to do that? If you know like I know a social worker in New York is just barely getting by on their salary most days. However, part of my survival I have to say is that I came of age at a time in NY when you could actually afford to live, and dance, shop a bit (at like H&M mostly, LOL) and eat out from time to time because rent wasn’t what it is now. Still, I am still in shock—like I might need resuscitating if I think about how much money I’ve wasted mostly on shopping, and then here’s the real kicker—giving things away a few years after I bought the things I did because I wouldn’t wear them or like them anymore. Am I the only one who did this in their 20’s and 30’s?

All in all, it’s been a long, yet rapid journey through my adult years, and after all that I’ve experienced, I gotta say I have had a blast so far. I never knew I’d go to Mexico 4 times by now, travel to 4 continents by myself, live in every place I’ve dreamed of, so far. And start 2 businesses, of which the 1 I work in is thriving and becoming more amazing every year.

As I mentioned earlier, I just celebrated the 7th year of owning my 1st-for-profit company. These 7 years have been incredible. It started with hosting Twitter Chats every 6 weeks on Twitter to grow an audience, to doing a few consults every now and then for adults seeking mental health services, to really finding my niche as an expert in wellness and now, to running a successful company doing (most of) the things I love. (Running a business takes a ton of work ladies and gents, don’t let the ‘gram make you think anything different!) While I take a few weeks off to rest and do some old and new things I love doing, I am also going to bask in the sun and thank the Most High and my team for helping me make it this far. So, in my usual fashion, I want to leave you for now, with 5 things I’ve learned about myself, my business and the team that helps me to be who I get to be every day:

1. 1. 1. I am more resilient than I knew I was.
         
         
      2. I will only work with people who are geniuses at what they do so I can be a genius at what I do.
         
         
      3. Where you begin is not where you will stay; being open to growing which means changing, is 1 of my greatest life lessons.
         
         
      4. Creating job descriptions and workflows are major keys for onboarding and letting staff & consultants be successful at what they do.
         
         
      5. Everyone on your team can only be as awesome as you set the example for them to be. People learn from what you do more than they learn from what you say. Model that!

There’s more SBLs (small business lessons) I could share but keep coming back to the blog. I know everyone isn’t a small business owner or aspiring entrepreneur, and because of that I will continue giving you some useful coaching tips on lifestyle hacks, personal development and wellness. Just keep coming back. And as always Village, tell a friend to tell a friend, to tell 5 friends to subscribe to this blog. And keep those emails coming about what posts resonate most with you and why.

Until next time…

Asha

*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*