No One Owes You A Good Life So You’re Better Off Creating the One You Want to Live

I was recently asked what I did to uplevel my life and career. The answer to that is much simpler than one may think. Maybe you believe I had to begin doing some things I’d never done before or that I had to completely overhaul my life. Actually, it was what I had already been doing and a few things I stopped doing that changed my life.

Asha Tarry, Life Coach
  1. As a coach who typically works with small business owners, empaths and highly sensitive people, my story is quite similar to the ones I hear. I too, have to continue unlearning old beliefs and challenge myself to grow in opposite ways that I would usually procrastinate. As a result of that, I’ve become a better coach and my clients get more outstanding results.

When I began writing, “Adulting As A Millennial” I thought about what I would share with people. As I did, I had a wonderful time reliving my fondest memories of my childhood and youth. I recounted how many ways I was being prepared to live an incredible life—including the family vacations I went on as a child, to the performing arts programs I participated in as a dancer, musician and writer. Everything I’ve done, as well as the things I didn’t want to do (by way of either my parents or some other adult in my life training me to do) helped me become the person I am today. Though, I don’t subscribe to a lot of the limiting cultural and spiritual beliefs of my upbringing, I know as an adult with her own agency that I do not have to believe those things anymore. And if they no longer serve me than I let them go.

Essentially, what I did to uplevel myself was inventory my beliefs, my relationships and the visions I had for myself as I learned, developed and became more confident in doing things that I enjoyed and felt were a part of my true essence. Some of what I did was: A.) I stopped talking about the things I wanted to do and lived them instead. If I wanted to broaden a professional skill I researched courses and either took one class at a time online or participated in free trainings for small businesses at the Small Business Administration. B.) I quit talking to low-energy people and envious people about my visions and instead I wrote my visions on paper and kept colorful sticky notes and message boards around my home so I could use them as daily affirmations and new beliefs that I would acquire. C.) I also practiced daily rituals to show my gratitude which included a Facebook group I formed in 2017 with over 200 people to create powerful weekly affirmations, which I continue doing on my own to this very date. Since then, I’ve added a book of daily devotions that I read, and mindfulness work including both silent and rain meditations. D.) Last, but not least, I actively mind my own business and listen to what my body tells me like when it’s time to rest, or time to resist talking to others, and oftentimes, how to not repeatedly accommodate other people’s low moods, complaints and their projected presumptions about how to live my life.

So, going back to the question at hand—it’s not what I started doing, but rather what I appreciated about how much I’ve done, have been given, and what I gave up in order to have more peace of mind, more joy, more love and patience and ultimately a healthy lifestyle.

If you are interested in learning more about some of the people who played a significant role in this process as well as more about the process, get my book or check out a few of the podcasts here where I share a few personal accounts of how I transformed my life into the life I love to live. At the end of my book, I also recommend a reading list that I suggest those of you who have my book dive into. A lot of seeds from those books were supplanted in my memory and over time they’ve sprouted into where my current and next phases of growth have been reflected. Stay tuned for my next blog as I talk about how some of those jewels in the books I shared took me to another level of prosperity in this pandemic.

As always, remember to tell a friend to tell a friend, and tell them to tell 5 more friends about joining our Village. Until next time…


*This blog is about becoming free. It’s a reflection of introspective thoughts and experiences that have crossed miles of self-discovery. I created this blog to inspire others to live life with less self-criticism, judgment and openness to new experiences. May you find that you learn how to live a life by design and on your own terms!*

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